How To Tell If You Are Cursed

You see it in Japanese horror all the time. Someone—alive or dead—develops a grudge that won’t abate, and the subject of their fury soon finds themselves cursed. In most cases, there’s nothing you can do about it. Once you’re cursed, there’s no happy ending. Sometimes you can visit a Shinto priest or Buddhist monk and they will do their best to cleanse you of evil, but this is never guaranteed to work.

Have you, perhaps, been feeling a little under the weather lately? You find yourself seeing or hearing things that nobody else does? Your body feels heavy, like someone is constantly sitting on your shoulders. Did you have a major blow out with someone recently and now they glare at you all day? Have you, perhaps, been cursed?

The good news is that there is a simple test you can take to find out! By answering the following 13 questions you can judge for yourself whether you’ve been placed under a nefarious Japanese curse or not. Let’s see how you fare.

THE CURSE TEST

1. Do you often suffer from paralysis?
2. Do your shoulders and back often feel heavy?
3. Do you get sick easily?
4. Are you often stopped by red lights?
5. Do things often try to stop you once you decide to do something?
6. Do things often end badly even though they were going well right up until the end?
7. Do you have no motivation and sleep all the time?
8. Do you often have negative thoughts?
9. Do you get irritated easily?
10. Have your relationships been strained lately?
11. Are you unlucky in love?
12. Do you often have ominous dreams?
13. Do you often feel someone looking at you?

RESULTS

How many questions did you answer “yes” to?

0-2: You’re not cursed! Congratulations!
3-4: You’re suffering from a weak curse.
5-7: You’re suffering from a slightly strong curse.
8-9: You’re suffering from a strong curse.
10-12: You’re suffering from an incredibly strong curse.
13: Well shit.

BREAKING THE CURSE

So, you’ve discovered you’re suffering from a curse. How do you break it?

If you’re suffering from a weak curse, fear not. The fact that you have discovered this means it’s already broken! These curses are created by amateurs, and the moment someone understands that a curse has been placed on them, it breaks. Simple!

If you’re suffering from a slightly strong curse, all you need to do is ride it out. Placing a curse on someone requires a large amount of negative energy from the curser, so if you can just withstand it, it will end up destroying that person instead.

If you’re suffering from a strong curse, then you need to visit a shrine or power spot. These holy places will dispel the bad energy and cleanse you of all harm.

If you’re suffering from an incredibly strong curse, then you need professional help. This means visiting a priest, a monk, or a medium who is skilled in performing exorcisms and breaking curses.

If you said “yes” to all 13 questions, then there’s not a lot that can be done for you. You can visit priests, exorcists, all the power spots you want, but chances are nothing will work and you’ve been targeted by something so evil, so malicious, that there’s little chance of surviving. Congratulations on invoking the wrath of an angry god or onryo!

So, how cursed are you? Let me know in the comments below and let’s see if you can still be saved!

 

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