The note my brother left behind

At the end of the year, my older brother—who barely had the will to live anymore—died. The year before he went missing with his girlfriend for eight days, but only he came back. When he did, there was nothing left of him. All he did was sleep.

I’ll explain in more detail later, but the police closed their investigations for his girlfriend, and she was never found.

Aside from sleeping, all my brother did was write furiously in this notebook he had, but he refused to show it to any of us. I saw it for the first time after he died, and my parents were so shocked by its contents that they said they would take it to the police after the new year. Because of that, I secretly copied it without their knowledge.

Everything my brother never told us was written in his notebook. I usually only read these forums, never take part, but I haven’t seen anything like this posted here (of course, haha), so please excuse me while I write it all down.

[Miyuki, I’m sorry. Miyuki, I’m sorry. Miyuki, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry. I couldn’t protect you. Miyuki, I’m so sorry.

I want to die. But I have to tell my family everything that happened. I’m too scared to say it, so I’ll write it down. Miyuki, Please visit me in my dreams. I’m sorry.]

This was the first page.

At the time, my brother was in his thirties and unmarried. He lived with myself, our mother and father way out in the freezing cold countryside of Japan. He worked in our family-run Chinese restaurant.

Miyuki (alias) and my brother were engaged. She was a nineteen-year-old domestic helper. She resembled the singer Aiko. My brother sort of looked like the comedian Hikaru Ijuin, only skinnier. Just before his death he was nothing but skin and bones.

[November 11th, 2006. Miyuki and I went for a drive in my car. I felt like going somewhere far away, so we went towards Aomori Prefecture.

It was cold, and Miyuki said she wanted to warm up, so I looked for somewhere we could stop. The road was so long and there were no hotels or anything. Eventually we reached the top of a strange cliff.

There was a sign there, but there were no other cars or people, so I thought about going back. Nothing in particular had happened, however, so I decided to keep going.

Miyuki, I’m sorry!

All around us was forest… and mountains. It was dark, there was no light anywhere. Then we saw a car on the right-hand side coming towards us enter a small forest lane. I thought that if we followed we’d end up somewhere, so I decided to follow them. Miyuki told me to go after them.]

Aside from the alias, that was exactly how it was written down. Sorry if it’s difficult to read.

He wrote with just his right hand sticking out of the futon; he didn’t use his other hand to hold the page steady, so everything was kinda messy.

[The road was so thin that only one car could pass through. We couldn’t see the car in front of us at all. But like, if the car in front of us came back, the road was so narrow that the only way to get out would be to reverse the whole way.

There were no side streets. We continued going forward and forward. We drove for quite a while but there was nothing around, so I thought about going back, but reversing the entire way down such a long road would be impossible.

So we drove for more than an hour until we finally reached somewhere.

Miyuki was asleep. I’m sorry, Miyuki!

There was a light up ahead so I stopped the car. Someone was holding a light, waving it around. There was a car stopped in front of us as well. Several people approached and surrounded the car. ‘Shit!’ I thought and tried to reverse, but someone was already behind the car. ‘I’m gonna hit them!’ I thought. I should have hit them.

I should have.

The surrounding people… men… screamed at the car windows. They hit them. “Open up!” they screamed.

“Are you stupid?!” I screamed in return, and Miyuki woke up. She was shocked. There was a man standing by her window. He hit and broke it, grabbing her. He got inside the car… Miyuki… Miyuki, I’m so sorry.]

[The car kept beeping, it was so noisy. Miyuki was dragged out of the car. There were five men there.

She was crying. The men picked her up and carried her off into the woods. I ran after them. There was no-one in the car in front of us.

A short while later I reached a two-story building, like an apartment building. The men went inside. The door was broken, and the inside was lit up. There were several rooms, it looked like OO’s (my brother’s friend’s name) apartment.

When I went inside, two men were holding Miyuki down. The others were… I got pissed and hit the man on top of her. Someone kicked me from behind, and they stomped on me while I was on the ground.

There was a man on the ground next to Miyuki. Blood was coming out of his head. He was already dead. He probably got beat to death. He was naked. I remember thinking that he looked cold.]

This part I didn’t understand very well. After traveling down a forest lane he came to an apartment building? What else was there? His storytelling ability was a little confusing.

[They continued beating on me while they took Miyuki. Miyuki, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

(After this “I’m sorry” continued for two pages)

I don’t remember what Miyuki was saying at the time, but four of them took their turns with her. The whole time I kept thinking that we should have turned back.

When they were finished, they took Miyuki and I to separate rooms. I couldn’t get out. I called out to Miyuki the whole time. Poor Miyuki. I’m so sorry…

I intended to run once it got brighter, but it never did. Was it raining? When one of the men came and told me that “we’re gonna keep your girl here a little longer” I got so angry that I hit him. I ran to Miyuki’s room, but when I did, her foot was cut off!]

[She was just sleeping, but I thought she was dead. I ran around, hitting the men who were there. Then something hard hit me in the head and I threw up. I thought I was going to die, lying there in my own vomit, but Miyuki was alive!

“I’m sorry!” she cried. Why? Why are you sorry?!]

[The man next to her was a doctor. Apparently he was the person in the car ahead of us. He came out this way once a month with food and medicine. He knew that we were behind him, but not knowing if we were yakuza or not, he was too scared to say anything.

It turned out that children who were born to a religious sect leader from a certain village were living here. This leader was not allowed to have children, yet still had five of them. If this was discovered they wouldn’t be allowed into the village, and his own position would be in trouble, so he hid them away.

But their sexual desires were too strong, and as soon as they realised there was a woman they went crazy. So while everything was going on, one of them was killed.]

[I begged the doctor to take Miyuki back with him, but he told me it was impossible. I said I would carry her, seeing as she couldn’t walk, but he said that was also impossible. Then I asked if he could at least let my parents know that we were here, but he said he couldn’t. He also had to live in this village, and his name was OOO (his last name was written)! The village was located in OOO (looking at a map, the Misawa area) in Aomori Prefecture. It’s nearby. Miyuki, I’m sorry.]

His diary, or rather his notes, ended here. After that it was just saying sorry to Miyuki and apologising to our family.

But he didn’t write down any of the crucial information, did he?

Like, how did he get away? Or what happened to Miyuki? But he was missing for eight days, and we got a call from the police saying that he was in the hospital. When we went to see him, he really was wasting away and on the verge of death.

Miyuki’s parents requested an investigation, but didn’t that mean my brother was the biggest suspect? He underwent questioning, but a week later the investigation closed. It looks like Miyuki’s parents are continuing the search for their daughter on their own even now though.

Was the village really that dangerous? I thought. But after my brother came back, he really did stop talking.

To be honest, somewhere in the corners of my mind I thought that my brother might have had something to do with Miyuki’s disappearance. I mean, his car was gone, and when we asked him about it he just said, “No, it’s got nothing to do with you.”

If what he wrote down was true, then I really was an asshole to him, and lately I’ve been thinking that maybe I should go looking for this village.

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